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Wednesday October 10, 2007
Breaking News

The Right Reverend Rubberized Homo-Hypocrite

Folks, I'd like to take a little time to relate a very sad, sad story. If you are a regular reader of The MUFF Report, you know that I am both a deeply spiritual person, yet sharply critical of all organized religions. Christianity is as valid a path to enlightenment and salvation as any other at it's core. Jesus' teachings, stripped of Pauline smegma and myopic, intolerant, apocalyptic dogma, point the way to a spiritual life where the needs of the poor and underprivileged are more important than what people do in the bedroom or who they do it with. Forgiveness and "judging not" are keystones in the foundation of His Gospel. Love, long suffering and nonviolent, is His Law. Jesus spoke against hypocrites, not homosexuals, which leads us to the sad, sad story of one of Reverend Jerry Falwell's top pastors in the Moral Majority that I am obliged to share, courtesy of The Smoking Gun.

OCTOBER 8--An Alabama minister who died in June of "accidental mechanical asphyxia" was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking).

Aldridge served as the church's pastor for 16 years. Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to "please refrain from speculation" about what led to Aldridge's demise, adding that, "we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

"While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge's two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister's rubber briefs.

Well, if you have the stomach, link here for the rest of the story. The thing that I don't get is, how did he hogtie himself? Plus his rubberized homoerotic fetish gear (which would seem difficult to suit up alone) and ass-packer are illegal (to buy) in Alabama! Some one should check on Rev. Haggard to make sure he wasn't down in Bama...